


Diary feat. Jonathan Sims

by dontthinkiwont



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Author Commentary, Fluff, I'll update the tags as I go, M/M, Recovery, Surgery, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Character, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans Male Character, i seriously didn't think there would be as much fluff as there is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29100096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontthinkiwont/pseuds/dontthinkiwont
Summary: Slice-of-life style story about Jonathan Sims and his experience with top surgery preparation and recovery.-This work is set in an AU where Martin is a barista and Jon is a librarian. I likely will not expand upon this, but I'll update the summary as it needs it.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 14
Kudos: 43





	1. Insurance

**Author's Note:**

> i'm having top surgery in a couple of weeks - february 11!!! - and i think writing this could be a really good way for me to document my experiences in a way that feels fun for me. while i won't update daily, i'm going to make an effort to do so regularly and to write about anything significant that happens to me regarding my surgery that i will then project on to jon lol. i'm actually really excited, i've never done anything like this - hope y'all enjoy!!!

"Martin.... _Martin!"_

The subject of Jon's anxious call swore loudly from the other room where a pan could be heard clanging to the floor, followed by more swears. As focused on his laptop screen as he was, Jon snorted, never being one to let his partner's personality go unappreciated.

 _"God,_ Jon, are you alright? What happened?" Martin asked hurriedly, running into the living room and very nearly colliding into the back of the sofa Jon sat curled up on.

"I - the - my surgeon just wrote me an email, I think they heard back from my insurance company."

Martin sucked in a tight breath and let it out slowly, the air tickling Jon's ear. Prior to saying anything, he walked around the side of the couch and sat down, causing the smaller man to tip into his side; he took the opportunity and wrapped an arm around him, tucking him closer and peering at the laptop screen, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay, okay. This is good. Either way, you get closure, right? Just like we've talked about. It's just planning from here, and budgeting we can do."

Jon nodded, despite the back of his mind telling him that _no,_ it was _not_ just planning, it was barely making rent and cutting back on expenses for months because Martin was a barista and Jon was a librarian and they lived in _fucking_ London. He'd seen the bill, he handled their rent, he paid his medical insurance, he knew what was coming if his surgery wasn't covered. 

Jon said yes, despite this.

"'Insurance Statement Regarding Jonathan Sims' Upcoming Subcutaneous Mastectomy.' I feel like if it was denied, they would have titled it something different. To - to - to soften the blow."

This time Jon didn't answer, instead staring at the screen alongside Martin for a few slow moments.

"I should just open it."

"...Yes, you should."

"We'll be okay regardless. We've talked about it."

"We have."

"I've been friends with the surgeon for a while and the office will offer us some grace with payments if it's not covered."

"Mm-hm."

"And it's still happening either way."

"Yes."

"So why does it feel like a big deal?"

Martin sighed, the arm around Jon tightening marginally.

"Honestly? Because if it gets denied it's just - a reminder that there are pricks out there who don't know...what it's like. Who don't understand or support this. And I think that's probably...scary on some level."

Jon processed that for a moment and then nodded - it felt right.

"Pricks will be pricks," Martin continued, "And if we end up having to pay for it, we'll be okay."

Choosing to rip the bandaid off, Jon opened the email with a barely-there click of his mousepad, both of the men drawing in a sharp breath as they skimmed the text on the screen as fast as they humanly could.

"...They're covering it. _...Holy shit, they're covering it."_

"Oh, my god!" Martin laughed, gathering Jon up into his lap and peppering his face with kisses, causing the cheap laptop to fall unceremoniously to the floor.

"They said - _Martin! -_ they said, I think there's a thousand pound co-payment, but they're covering it otherwise," Jon said, sentence intermittently broken by giggles and kisses being pressed to his lips.

Martin kissed him again in lieu of answering, allowing himself to linger and bury his hands in the back Jon's hair, causing the wild curls to further bunch up and frame his face. He hummed, wiggling closer and placing a hand on his arm, tracing the moles he found there. When they finally broke apart, their eyes were bright and their faces were both warm.

"I -"

"We -"

They both laughed, Martin leaning forward and resting his forehead on Jon's and squeezing his shoulders affectionately.

"You go first, love," Jon smiled.

"I'm so proud of you," he smiled back, tone softer. "And so happy for you. We would have been fine -"

"Yes."

" - But one less roadblock. One less prick."

"One less prick," Jon agreed, trying to get his grin under control but only succeeding in pursing his lips, eyes remaining crinkled. "I'm happy for me, too. And us, and our conjoined wallet."

 _"God,_ yes. I didn't want to tell you, but I ordered a sweater a week ago from Amazon without thinking, and I've been feeling so guilty because we were supposed to start budgeting at some point once we found out. And, god, I wasn't sure how I was going to hide it from you when it came in. I didn't even want to, really."

"Oh, Martin, you don't - wait, why didn't you just cancel it?"

Martin looked everywhere but his eyes, despite the humor of the situation clearly not being lost on him.

"I...didn't want to."

"...It was the cow one, wasn't it?"

"Nooo, it was a black cashmere sweater that I thought was just divine - _yes it was the cow one, Jon, we've both seen the photos."_

Jon dissolved into giggles, not taking Martin's dramatically self-righteous expression seriously for a moment, and burying himself into his chest, having heavy, warm arms wrapped around him in less than a second. They sat there together in comfortable silence, bundled up together on the couch and sharing each other's company, free of the worries that had been plaguing them from the back of their head for the last few months.

"It feels somewhat real now," Jon murmured as he picked at Martin's undershirt, hating to break the silence but unable to keep himself from voicing his thoughts. "I've been waiting for this for so long, and imagining it and talking about it and _praying_ to whatever would listen that I would just...make it this far. And it's starting to feel real."

"It is," Martin responded, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. "I mean - I understand the feeling, but I want you to hear me say that it is. It's happening, and I'm going to be here with you the whole way."

"There's no one I'd rather have with me, Martin."

He cooed, nuzzling his nose into his curls before reaching over him, bending down to pick up the fallen laptop and ignoring Jon's disgruntled squawk as he was squished in-between his chest and his thighs.

"There, there, my poor, lovely boyfriend - we have an email to respond to, and then you and I have a celebration to get to. True crime and white wine?"

"I am so in love with you," Jon beamed, eyes sparkling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i live in the u.s., so my british lingo and understanding of their finances/culture might be a little skewed. if anyone has any critiques please lmk and i'll be MORE than happy to correct + adhere going forward!  
> 2\. my understanding of insurance is also a little skewed, i'm a minor so my experience is unique. i doubt it'll come up again, but offer me some patience and keep that in mind please.  
> 3\. thank you for reading the first chapter! i'll update soon, i'm excited for both me and jon haha :-)


	2. Binder Pain/Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look into martin's job and also how much binders fucking suck.

"Hello handsome, and what can I get for you today?"

Jon grinned goofily at Martin, resting his palms on the countertop separating them and leaning forward slightly, making a show of peering at the menu with pursed lips and humming as though settling on a decision.

Today was Friday, which meant Jon got off at 5, which meant Martin got off at 6, which meant a date night. This also meant that Jon was given an hour to visit and subsequently bother his partner at work, though the use of the word bother is debatably inaccurate when referring to either party; Jon often took the opportunity to bring his laptop to the coffeeshop to work, enjoying the atmosphere and close proximity to Martin while allowing himself to avoid turning their home into a workspace.

While he worked at a large library located within a larger university, the tiny coffeeshop Martin worked at was located off a side road in London, surrounded on either side by a plant shop and antique store. What business lacked in foot traffic they made up for in social media presence, run largely by Martin's coworkers but was still something he contributed to on the regular - while the shop was not popular by any means, it made enough to get by and pay their employees a comfortable wage, as well as enough to create an environment that made its patrons feel at home. With its brick accent wall, chalkboard menus, and climbing plants covering every surface, Jon had no complaints about spending time in the store while waiting for Martin to finish his shift. Which was what he would be doing, should he get choose a drink.

"Hmm, I'm not quite sure - oh, what did you say your name was again?"

Martin rolled his eyes, trying not to smile, and gestured clumsily at the name tag perched on his maroon apron - "Martin" was written in loopy letters, with a smiley face nestled in the circle of the small a. 

"Ah, Martin, I see, thank you - well, Martin, what would you recommend?"

For a moment the cordial facade that Martin had displayed faltered as he genuinely considered Jon's question, settling his eyes on the register and tapping his fingers on the counter.

"Well, I've been drinking our chai tea a lot lately, we recently started brewing it in-house which has really improved the flavor, and we've started carrying a different brand of coffee beans too so our espresso -"

"Martin, for the love of god, would you make your boy-toy choose a drink and pick a table so you can get back to work."

Jon snorted, covering the lower half of his face with slender fingers and tilting his head slightly at Melanie, waving with his other hand. She merely rolled her eyes, waggling a batter-covered whisk from where she was presumably forming cupcakes.

"And you, stop bothering my employee and order something, unless you want me to spike your coffee with hot sauce again."

For a moment, Jon's smile faltered, gaining a harrowed look while remembering that fateful day - brought back to reality by Martin's wince, after which he regained his smile, sighing dramatically.

"How unfortunate -" He made a big show of reading his name tag again. "...Martin. You really should improve your customer service."

Melanie sucked her teeth loudly, kicking something underneath the metal countertop she was baking on. Jon chose to stop pushing his luck.

"I'll take a dirty chai, hot please."

"Add vanilla?"

"Add vanilla," Jon nodded, standing on his tip-toes to peck Martin on the lips while simultaneously digging out his wallet and dropping a tenner into the mason jar that they used for tips.

Martin cooed, squeezing Jon's hand where it rested on the counter top and turning around the register system to allow him to pay. He then turned around, walking across the small space to begin pulling his espresso.

"Go sit down, love, I'll bring it to you. We'll leave in a little bit, I have to finish re-designing some signs before we can go," he called over his shoulder as the smell of hot coffee filled the shop, and Jon allowed himself a moment to appreciate the late afternoon sunlight creeping in through the windows and giving the shop an orange glow.

He crossed the store to his normal table, right up against the window with a view of the quiet street, and sat down, dropping his shoulder bag next to him and stretching his shoulders across the back of his chair. Not for the first time that day he took great care to handle his body gently, taking note of the ache that laced from arm to arm and down his spine, no doubt indicative of the fact that he had been wearing his binder for much too long at that point. He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, bringing his arms over his head and lacing them together, stretching again and squeezing his eyes shut in a wince. He wouldn't miss this. 

Bringing his arms back down and rolling his shoulders, he dug his laptop out of his bag and came back up to see Martin standing at his table, holding a mug with great care and looking at him with his head tilted.

"Back bothering you again?"

Jon hummed noncommittally, which quickly turned into a noise of appreciation as Martin dropped a hand to his neck and began massaging it gently, setting his latte on the table.

"Yes, I - ooh, yes, right there please, thank you - I think I've been, erm, wearing my binder for too long lately. The bruising seems like it's just a little bit worse, too."

"...I know you're right at the finish line, so I understand if that's your mindset, but please take care of yourself anyways, alright?" Martin said carefully, hand moving from Jon's neck to his hair where he carefully tugged it out of the scrunchie he had wrestled it into, carding through it a couple of times before dropping a kiss to the top of his head. 

Jon opened his eyes, just now realizing that he had allowed them to slip shut.

"Yes, I know, it's just hard. I can't really bring myself to care."

His cheeks heated up for a moment as he was reminded of the other person in earshot, conveniently, by the bell above the front door ringing and alerting everyone of a customer entering the shop.

"Go work, darling, we can talk more at dinner. I appreciate you."

Martin offered him a slightly sad, slightly apologetic smile, turning around to greet the customer with a much brighter tone, however artificial it may have been. Jon chuckled quietly to himself about his partner's customer service voice, finally opening his laptop and ignoring the twinge in his right arm at the motion.

-

How date night turned into Martin and Jon getting slightly too drunk at a pub eating greasy chips and downing cheap drinks, they would never know. All they knew was that everyone performing karaoke was doing a hilariously terrible job, that the lights were just a little too dim, and that the story the barkeep was telling them was not nearly as hilarious as the alcohol was making it seem - despite this, they were still laughing their asses off, falling into each other just a little too much.

"- and after all that time, I managed to find the key to my flat under the doormat, right where my roomie had told me. I could have sworn it wasn't there, but I think I was just too distracted by the opossum making off with my slipper."

Jon wheezed, glasses falling to the counter as he swiped at his eyes, Martin in a similar state next to him.

"D-did you...you made it inside, then?"

"And did you ever get your slipper back?" Jon piped up, breaking out of his fit to ask his question, bright eyed and acting as though the answer held the secrets to the meaning of life.

"I got inside unscathed, just barely escaping with my life...but I never saw the slipper again," the barkeep responded, tone taking on that of a boy scout at his first campfire telling spooky stories.

The couple gasped in unison, both dismayed and overjoyed at this conclusion. The barkeep's amused gaze jerked away at a call of his name, turning back to meet their eyes apologetically.

"Ah, I have to go - have a nice night, if I don't see you again!"

Martin waved morosely while Jon's farewell was much more enthused, after which he turned to his boyfriend, eyes sparkling.

"I think we should adopt an opossum."

"An opossum?" Martin spluttered, nearly spitting out the gin he had just sipped at. "We can barely handle the Admiral, and we don't even live with him."

"I don't - I don't see how that's relevant."

"I find it to be very relevant, thank you very much, and I don't think our apartment is...opossum-friendly. Or anything-friendly."

"You're just jealous that you didn't come up with the idea yourself."

Martin spluttered again while Jon picked at the tray of chips they had been sharing, seemingly lost in thought.

"...We could name him the General."

"Ah, you're still on this, then?"

"I was never - I was never on anything else. Only this. Right now."

"Right, okay," Martin chuckled, blushing and staring at his lover with open affection.

The subject of his look nearly had his eyes crossed with effort, staring at the food in front of him as he bit his bottom lip, a stray hair falling from his bun to just barely tickle his chin. He blew it away absentmindedly, which absolutely did _not_ make Martin swoon.

"...My chest still hurts."

The change of subject very nearly made Martin jump.

"Ah, yes, let's talk about that then. So why have you...you said you've been wearing it too much?" he asked, wracking his alcohol-sodden brain to remember the brief conversation from earlier.

"Yes, which is silly because I only have a week to go," Jon pouted. "I want to be all done."

"I know, you nearly are."

"Yes! I am." Jon popped a chip into his mouth, swallowing with effort. "So it shouldn't matter."

"What, it shouldn't matter that you're wearing it too long?"

"...Yes, I think so."

"Well..." Martin wished, for a moment, that they were having this conversation sober. "It should still matter that you're in pain. No point in pushing yourself to the finish line when the actual....line itself isn't going to get any closer. So why hurt yourself in doing so?"

Martin turned to look at Jon, who was regarding him with something akin to wonder. Jon reached out, resting his hands on the darker skin of his partner's cheeks and squishing them together ever so slightly.

"I love you, and I'm grateful for you helping me with this and everything and for being a lovely boyfriend."

Jon kissed his forehead, his nose, and then his lips, which were stuck out from his cheeks being fondled.

"I also have no idea what you just said."

They held eye contact for a few more moments, both expressions a mockery of people discussing something very serious, before they dissolved into giggles.

"I think, what I was trying to say is, don't hurt yourself just because you're so close to being done. 'S'all I meant," Martin chuckled, laughing a bit harder as Jon nodded fervently.

"I got the gist, I think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've never been responsible with my binder, as embarrassing as that is to admit, and lately it's just been off the chain hook. the other night i wasn't able to get my right shoulder to straighten out, if that makes sense, and when i was finally able to i wasn't able to take a full breath for a good half hour without my ribs spasming - binders suck. and it's so annoying to be SO close yet in so much pain.
> 
> anyways, don't take after me, and if you're an individual who wears a binder please don't wear them for longer than eight hours and be kind to yourself as you do so! you are loved and you will thank yourself later


	3. Update From Author

hello everyone! sorry, i hate when people add chapters to works that aren't actual chapters but i didn't want to leave people hanging, and i also just wanted to leave a note for myself in the future. (TL;DR at the bottom)

operation is tomorrow :-) its pretty late where i am and im getting up pretty early in the morning so im going to sleep soon! but this past week or so has been filled with appointments and errands and seeing people i won't be able to for weeks after my surgery and WOW.

i had actually planned to write a chapter about 1. jon's pre-op appointment and 2. his thoughts on the surgery and how its finally hit him, as it has me. and i still might!!! i just haven't had the time or energy this week and it's a little too late now, haha.

i'll still record those here though, more for my benefit so i apologize in advance :-)

pre-op was on monday!!! i had to get a covid test which sucked BALLS - i have a thing about needles and pointy things going far into my body and the test triggered a panic attack and i feel so bad for the poor health worker who had to administer it. directly afterwards was meeting with my surgeon! i expected to walk away with more knowledge or new secret information that i didn't have prior but in all honesty it was mostly for insurance purposes and just to confirm what i already knew and the surgery itself. we had a short, awkward conversation where i confirmed what i understood about wrapping and drains and downtime and nipple grafts and then i left, lol. so good, but more of a required chore than an enlightening experience.

i don't think it really hit me that its actually happening until maybe a day or two ago, and it hit me that i'll 1. be one step closer to having the body i need to live a healthy, honest, comfortable life and 2. i will be on an operating table getting carved into, and they both hit at once lol. it wasn't half nervous half excited, it was nervous and excited both at the levels they would normally be if i were experiencing them individually at the same time and my poor, anxiety-wrought heart could barely take it lol. heart rate's been through the roof since then, but i now feel like that picture of a little kid with his clothes laid out on the night before a field trip than anything. to put it short, im excited. lol. ive never been put under before and im nervous about getting the iv put in - again, needles - and im scared to eventually take the drains out but id do all that and more for what's about to happen. i can barely put it into words lol.

sorry, again, recording for myself cuz the primary purpose of this fic is to record my experiences so im gonna do that regardless of whether i have the time and energy to truly write something lol! if anyones reading this, i appreciate you doing so and im grateful you're sticking by me. i hope i can offer some insight.

**TL;DR: i am having surgery tomorrow and i am very excited and i will write about my pre-op experience as well as my experiences going forward (through jon's pov of course!) when i am recovered enough to do so :-) thank you everybody!**


End file.
